Whether you like it or not, a piece of you goes away with every new relationship you form and you take a piece of that person with you.
Over the years, I've learnt that everyone comes into your life for a reason and vice versa and at work, I've learnt to learn from the positives and make the best out of it.
I've decided to think back on the people I've met in my career and reflect on what I've learnt with them... so here it goes!
I've decided to think back on the people I've met in my career and reflect on what I've learnt with them... so here it goes!
Job #1
It was a small publishing firm. When I joined, there were about five of us, including the boss and the receptionist. My boss was a young and passionate man. Only about 4-5 years older than me, he had an over zealous passion for wanting to bring out the best in things so much so that he seemed... crazy.
I vowed to stick to my first job for at least a year and I did. It wasn't easy. He changed his mind almost every five minutes on just about everything - a story which was written earlier in the month, a photo shoot, the lay out or even what he'd have for lunch. Working with him was one of the worst things ever for me.
The first six months I was the over achiever gung-ho employee. I wanted to do everything to get experience and I wasn't afraid of a little hard work or extra hours. Mind you, I was actually running two jobs at that point in my life so I was working a minimum of 9 hours a day, 7 days a week.
After a while, my will began to break. Just around that time, my eccentric boss decided that he wanted to move everyone upstairs "away from me". I kept wanting to fall sick, or thought of ways to break my leg so I wouldn't have to go into work. Oh no wait, I can still type, okay I should break my arm instead. There were days that I'd come home from work, crawl under my desk in my room and silently rock as hot tears ran down my cheeks. My mom thought I was going nuts.
In a month or so, he asked me out for a talk and he went on and on about the founding fathers and history and what he has plans for the company. At the end of it he asked me seriously "So, can you do it?" and honestly, I had no idea what he wanted me to do, so I asked him blankly. Basically he came off as jealous of my relationship with this other colleague (who used to be a church friend of mine) and wanted me to stay away from her. Wanting to get out of that situation, I just said yes.
Two months down the road, he fired me for behavior misconduct. It didn't matter to me because my one year was up and I was ready to leave anyway.
But what did that teach me? Perseverance.
Job #2
I moved from indie publishing company to a quasi-government (yeah don't ask me why it's quasi and not semi) company. Seeing that the company worked closely with the local government, I was the minority. Me and two other colleagues were the only non-Malays in a company of over 15 staff. We all got along well and I was really happy to be in a non-abusive environment.
Unfortunately, I never realized on how petty some of my colleagues were (my boss's secretary at that time to be exact). I can't recall exactly what happened but she was sitting down and something had happened to her so, trying to console her, I stroked her head a bit like "aww it's okay". Apparently that's offensive in Muslim culture especially if you're younger than that person. Go figure. I only found out when another colleague told me so I apologized.
I was in the point of my life where I was still going out for drinks with friends every weekend, and taking fun pictures of us in clubs doing silly stuff and sometimes donning outfits that are NSFW. She would then come in on Monday with snide remarks on my weekend activities, my dressing and insinuate that I wouldn't be able to do a good job.
The last straw came when she accidentally gave away a CD which I'm supposed to keep a copy of. The boss bellowed from his room asking where is it. I was out for a meeting earlier so the CD never reached me. She, wanting to get a job done quickly and not knowing the system, gave the CD off to the client. Boss was upset so he punched a cubicle. She started crying and blaming me.
What did I learn here? Keep your work and private life separate no matter how friendly your colleagues are. Instinctively you'll learn to find out who you can trust and who are selfish.
Job #3
For the first time, I moved out of the house into another state for a new job. I got a job which is in the same capacity but different industry, and actually out of nepotism. The woman who was "head hunting" me was actually mum's cousin. She's only three years older than me, if memory serves me right. Anyways how we're related is a tad complicated - at the end of the day, she's my aunt.
We got along quite well and I stayed there for 1.5 years. I learnt a great deal from her and she was a very giving mentor.
So why did I leave? She became hormonal. Seriously.
She was married for about two years (at that point in time) and they've been trying for a while now to no avail. So as a last resort she had to go through IVF.
The first time she did it, she morphed into managezilla. Everything I did was wrong. Everything I did was substandard and when that happened, she'd scold me as though I was five and give me dirty looks throughout the rest of the day. This went on for over a month, I think.
Unfortunately her IVF didn't go through and she came back to work and everything was like it was before. Then it hit me, it was the hormonal treatments.
Now don't get me wrong. I don't blame her. We get it each month and I know what it's like to be pissed about everything and not be able to control it.
But the moment she announced she was going to try via IVF again, I was on the lookout. Sure enough, when treatments started, she started getting all cranky and pissy about everything.
The lesson here? Well, don't work with family no matter how distantly related you are and be a giving leader :)
Job #4
I landed my dream job. I got into one of the largest female magazines in Malaysia and trust me, I was so ecstatic and optimistic. Now it's not entirely Devil Wears Prada kinda thing but trust me, the bitchiness is still around. I wasn't accepted in immediately, not like the other companies I was in but I thought okay, let's stay positive.
My sub-editor, was the most meticulous and straight forward person I've ever met. I sat next to her for the whole two years I was there and at first, she would scream at me for the tiniest mistake. She used to scare the crap out of me. I tried checking, double checking and triple checking my work but I'd always get some sort of lambasting about it, so much so, my Fashion Editor couldn't take it and came to my rescue.
Me? I just humbly stood there to take it in. I kept telling myself that I'm there to learn and well, it WAS my fault after all.
Towards the end, we actually became fast friends and the lambasts became less stern and more playful.
Here I learnt that patience and humility is important. Now, I know she wasn't screaming at me for fun - although the delivery didn't have to be that harsh. But she was just doing her job. As long as you're willing to learn, you'll get there.
Job #5
Well, now I'm with a social media company and I have all sorts of weird colleagues. There's a control freak. There's a super rude kid (when I say kid, I mean early 20s) who thinks she's smarter than everyone. Then there's the one where she doesn't speak good English (I'm not discriminating but it's sometimes it's not easy to understand her. And she's trying.)
The control freak, lives up to her name. She's so famous for her micro-managing that people have left because of it and mostly within the span of six months. Me? I've been here for over a year. About 15... 16 months I think.
Similarly to my former sub-editor, she's just doing her job. She could've done it in a different way but she means well.
So here, I learnt that being tolerant and being demonstrative was important.
So there you go. What have you taken away from your job(s)?
My sub-editor, was the most meticulous and straight forward person I've ever met. I sat next to her for the whole two years I was there and at first, she would scream at me for the tiniest mistake. She used to scare the crap out of me. I tried checking, double checking and triple checking my work but I'd always get some sort of lambasting about it, so much so, my Fashion Editor couldn't take it and came to my rescue.
Me? I just humbly stood there to take it in. I kept telling myself that I'm there to learn and well, it WAS my fault after all.
Towards the end, we actually became fast friends and the lambasts became less stern and more playful.
Here I learnt that patience and humility is important. Now, I know she wasn't screaming at me for fun - although the delivery didn't have to be that harsh. But she was just doing her job. As long as you're willing to learn, you'll get there.
Job #5
Well, now I'm with a social media company and I have all sorts of weird colleagues. There's a control freak. There's a super rude kid (when I say kid, I mean early 20s) who thinks she's smarter than everyone. Then there's the one where she doesn't speak good English (I'm not discriminating but it's sometimes it's not easy to understand her. And she's trying.)
The control freak, lives up to her name. She's so famous for her micro-managing that people have left because of it and mostly within the span of six months. Me? I've been here for over a year. About 15... 16 months I think.
Similarly to my former sub-editor, she's just doing her job. She could've done it in a different way but she means well.
So here, I learnt that being tolerant and being demonstrative was important.
So there you go. What have you taken away from your job(s)?
